


[you're my home]

by scorpionGrass



Series: [home] [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, References to Depression, Suicide Attempt That Never Actually Happens, written in aesthetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27622082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpionGrass/pseuds/scorpionGrass
Summary: "suicide sounded like a good idea. but the longer i took to get around to it, the less it did."
Relationships: Tenjou Kaito/Vector
Series: [home] [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019554
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	[you're my home]

**Author's Note:**

> felt super emo today and wrote about a guy who decided not to kill himself and the person who realized they loved him when they thought it was too late.  
> u know just normal stuff

vector is back, and he’s nothing but bones. kaito can tell even through his thick hoodie, in the inches where the sleeves are rolled up and his pale skin wraps over wrists so thin, so translucent, that he can see the blue veins crawling up his arms.

ryoga leads vector inside, to see the rest of them, but kaito finds himself stuck to the porch of the mansion. he doesn’t want to intrude on whatever family dynamic they have, just like he doesn’t want them to intrude on any of the swirling emotions he needs to sort through. but his feelings on vector have never been anything but complicated, and kaito doubts that will change now.

(he’s supposed to hate him, but he can’t, and he doesn’t know when that changed.)

“are you coming?” vector asks, turning to him and rubbing at his jaw again, where kaito’s fist decked him hard. he’s wearing that awkward smile of his, like he’d forgotten how.

kaito shakes his head. “go on ahead.”

the door shuts and kaito is alone, the hot sun on his back grounding him into reality. vector is back, and he's alive.

~

kaito’s tiny apartment is dark and empty when he unlocks the door and lets himself in, and he takes a look at the couch shoved into the corner, the small bedroom offset from the kitchen, and realizes it’s really been two weeks since he’s come home. since he’s slept in his own bed.

two weeks of searching, and vector came back home.

it’s like one weight has lifted while another has dropped. “are you okay?” vector had asked him softly, fingers brushing against his before kaito left the mansion.

he isn’t, but he’s not sure why. he’d been filled with relief that had emptied out as fast as it had come, and now kaito feels hollowed out all over again. “i’m fine,” kaito said to him, a blatant lie that he knew vector could see right through.

“is it… okay if i come by later?” vector asked.

“yeah.”

it’s later. much later, but in the past vector had always knocked on his door past any reasonable time for guests. something like midnight isn’t out of the question, but kaito doesn’t know what to do with himself until then.

he can’t remember what it was like before vector pushed his way into his life, years ago. surely he’d had other things to worry about, other things to do. he feels numb.

kaito’s not sure how much time passes as he sits curled up on the couch with the tv on, volume low enough that it’s become distracting white noise from his thoughts, but finally there’s a knock at the door. next thing he knows, he’s standing in the entryway, almost afraid to open it.

he does, though.

“kaito.”

vector stands on the carpeted hallways of the apartment building, his old leather jacket over the thick hoodie he’d been wearing earlier. he practically drowns under all the layers, and kaito wonders how much weight he’s lost since he’d last seen him.

kaito steps back, allowing him in. nothing he can think of to say sounds right, so he says nothing at all. instead he just watches as vector toes his worn-out shoes off in the tiny entryway, inches away from him.

he’s real. kaito tries to memorize the planes of his face, the dim way he’s lit by the streetlights that filter in from the windows. “are you going to disappear again?” he asks, practically a whisper.

vector breathes out a laugh, lips quirking up for a half second. “no,” he says when their eyes connect.

“promise me.”

vector’s fingers find his, linking them together. “i’m sorry.”

“stay tonight.”

“okay.”

the couch pulls out into a proper bed, but both of them are too exhausted to set it up properly. instead, kaito pulls the blankets down from where they hang off the cushions and throws one at vector. they sit at opposite ends of the tiny couch, the careful distance they’ve always kept back in place. the tv still plays quietly in the background. kaito doesn’t want to turn it off, wanting to avoid outright silence.

“what made you come back?” he finally asks.

vector rubs the back of his neck. his eyes reflect the commercials that play on the tv, profile lit up by the blue light, making the circles under his eyes look starker. “before i left, yuuma kept telling me to find something to live for.”

“you found something?”

“kinda.”

“what did you find?”

“nothing, at first. but every time i got close to--” he cuts himself off, shaking his head. “i kept thinking i was leaving something important behind. or maybe yuuma just got to me with all his speeches about friendship and second chances. for the longest time, i couldn’t figure out what it was that kept stopping me.”

vector finally takes off his jacket, pushing up the sleeve of his hoodie. he slowly unwraps the bandages underneath, revealing a thin puckered scar that stretches up his forearm. “it was only when i was watching the blood that i realized why dying wasn’t so appealing anymore.”

kaito watches as vector shifts in his seat, wringing his fingers before running them through his hair and drumming them against the arm of the couch. he breathes out a sigh.

“you gonna ask?”

“you don’t have to tell me.”

their eyes connect again. “it was because of you.”

kaito stares at him, that same numb feeling from earlier coming back, bits and pieces of the past couple of weeks clicking together. “me?”

“yeah, i…” vector looks away, back toward the scar, brow furrowed as he debates his next words. he looks so conflicted, more unsure than kaito has ever seen him. “i’d rather keep living with all of my regrets and fuck-ups if it means being able to see you.”

kaito’s breath hitches and he clicks off the tv, dousing the room in darkness, the quiet making the only thought running through his head since he opened the door louder than ever.

“i love you.”

vector smiles faintly. “you’re supposed to hate me.”

“i don’t,” kaito says, and it’s the first time it’s sounded so uncomplicated. “don’t ever leave me again.”

“i won’t.”

“promise me.”

vector reaches across the space between them, hand covering kaito’s. “i promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> i couldn't stop thinking about this. i don't know why. so i wrote it.
> 
> maybe one day i'll finish the prequel to this whole thing that makes this make sense.
> 
> where vector decides to go around seeking forgiveness from everyone he fucked with in canon, ending with kaito, and thinks "when all these loose ends are tied up, i'll die, and that'll be the end of everything." and then realizes in doing all of that, he's built relationships with others he doesn't actually want to sever.
> 
> especially with kaito.


End file.
